January 2012
we'd probably liveblog the end of the world
omg earthquake!!!!
ahh my mom just got hit by a rock omg!!!!
rip mommy u were a good bitch
flood is coming!!
omg water is in my house
nO NOT MY COMPUter
it's ok i have service on my phone guys
OMG MY SISTER IS DROWnING
aw a fireman is here
he's giving my sister mouth 2 mouth
i ship it omg
otp; i know how to save a life
whoa the earth is like breaking open
byE
DON'T DRIVE DRUNK.
From 6pm-6am on New Year’s Eve/Day AAA will take your drunk self and your car home for FREE, member or not: 800-222-4357
friend: i got an A on my calculus test
friend: i got a hot boyfriend
friend: i had so much fun partying this weekend
me: one time i got four notes on a text post i made
1 tag
December 2011
This is why I love Matthew Lewis.
Interviewer: What is the secret of broomstick riding?
Matthew Lewis: Being a girl.
Interviewer: Why should we see this last film?
Matthew Lewis: Cause i'm in it.
Interviewer: What is the hardest part of stopping filming Harry Potter?
Matthew Lewis: Well, I need to find another job now.
6 tags
Me laying in bed: Omg that is the most perfect idea for this story. Yes, oh sweet baby jesus. So much perfection. It will flow so well. Oh...I can't wait to write this. It's going to be so great.
Me sitting in front of my computer: HOW DO I WORDS?!
grant: is giza a word? like the pyramids?
me: yeah, but it's a place. does words with friends take proper nouns?
grant: anything in the dictionary, i think. it doesn't take like racial slurs, though. i tried to use jewish and it wouldn't let me.
me: grant, that's not a racial slur.
grant: *typing* huh?
stop posting pictures of beautiful girls who all...
i am here and i am real
me: *walks out of room*
parents: OMG SHE'S OUT OF HER CAVE HELLO WELCOME COME COME SOCIALIZE YOU NEVER SOCIALIZE DON'T GO LOCK YOURSELF BACK IN YOUR ROOM STAY OUT OF THAT CAVE SPENDING THAT MUCH TIME ON YOUR COMPUTER ISN'T HEALTHY!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!
me: *gets food. goes back in room*
Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you, the 2012...
Michelle Bachmann: "Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.” (2004)
Ron Paul: "The rate of AIDS infection is on the increase again. From the gay point of view, the reasons seem quite sensible. First, these men don't really see a reason to live past their fifties. They are not married, they have no children, and their lives are centered on new sexual partners... because sex is the center of their lives, they want it to be as pleasurable as possible, which means unprotected sex. Third, they enjoy the attention & pity that comes with being sick." (1995 in a newsletter)
Rick Perry: "I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. " (2011 in a campaign ad)
Mitt Romney: "I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." (2011 while speaking to unemployed people in Florida. Romney's net worth is over $200 million.)
Newt Gingrich: "She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." (1994, about his first wife)
Rick Santorum: "Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?" (2008)
Michelle Bachmann: "Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." (2009 during a debate)
Mitt Romney: "PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." (2006, when questioned about driving 12 hours with his dog in a cage strapped to the top of his car)
1 tag
